from my holiday kitchen to yours
one need not brave the very suddenly frigid new york city temperatures to know we are in the midst of the full holiday swing. in the same vein as the old adage "everything you need to know you learned in kindergarten," it seems to me that everything you need to experience about christmas you can do in starbucks. right around thanksgiving when each cup -- tall, grande, and venti -- turns red and snowflake-y, the starbucks patron knows it's time to switch to holiday mode. they're on top of things, jazzy christmas mixes, gift sets, christmas mugs, eggnog and gingerbread lattes and peppermint mochas, even the baked goods shift into holiday gear: red sprinkles, cranberry cakes, lots of red stuff.
it was the season change chez starbucks that got me thinking how during the holiday whirlwind, the average american must eat, drink, and entertain more, all of which would certainly mean more time in the kitchen. and it was during a conversation about an acquaintance's determination to develop a homemade eggnog recipe that it occurred to me how long some things take to prepare. i am a big fan of cooking; i think it's great fun, and -- mostly -- most rewarding. but it being the holidays (sincere thanks to starbucks as i'd nearly forgotten until blinded by red stimulus intense enough to lend an alarmingly enduring pinkish hue to everything on which i looked), we are all inevitably short on extra minutes. indeed, juggling holiday events can be trying; cocktail parties, brunches, outdoor forays, family dinners, christmas tree purchasing, christmas tree decorating (if you are the tree-inclined type, of course). there's shopping. oh, and work (if you are the paycheck-inclined type). the point is, new yorkers are always busy -- or at least we think we are. and during the holidays, new yorkers are even busier.
that is why i felt it appropriate to share a few ways to save time in the kitchen. as i said, i adore cooking, and there is often no substitute for truly homemade edibles. except when there is. what follows are some examples that i have found fall under the "it's just not worth it" category. so have a perusal for your holiday time-budgeting purposes. if you had planned an attempt at anything you see below, i highly recommend you save yourself the time, take a trip to the store, and enjoy that first drink before you have to deal with company. or being someone else's. or children. or fellow shoppers. or your boss. whomever, really.
artichokes. i love artichokes. not the ones at the salad bar that come from a jar, but real artichokes. there's nothing better than braised artichokes with some lemon juice. they are often found in the form of an appetizer holiday gatherings. they are also the only vegetable ever to actually make me bleed. all on their own. i do not mean i was chopping or peeling or stemming and cut myself in the process; under that criteria i'd be obliged to add carrots, potatoes (regular and sweet), beets, kohlrabi, and i'm sure a few others to the list. no, the artichoke stands alone as the one vegetable on which i've actually cut myself. but personal grudge aside, the beginning of a basic artichoke recipe reads as follows: "working with one artichoke at a time, cut off top inch of artichoke and gently pull open center. scoop out sharp leaves and fuzzy choke from center with a melon-ball cutter or a spoon. trim bottom quarter-inch of stem, keeping stem attached, and peel stem. put artichoke in a large bowl of cold water. repeat with remaining artichokes." (please note the emphasis on "sharp leaves.") i am not an idiot in the kitchen. but this is a classic case of "it's just not worth it." go to your nearest gourmet store with a prepared food section. have a cocktail and avoid nasty sharp leaf cuts.
homemade candy of any kind. i know, all the holiday sweets with shiny red wrappers and silver ribbons have you tempted go to work on some of your own goodies? and what a nice gift, too. well, homemade candy it is so incredibly not worth it. thermometers, scalding butter, and melting sugar, it's truly more of a chemistry experiment than anything else. and my rule of thumb around the holidays is that if the list of "equipment" that accompanies a recipe is longer than a single item (or if that single item has more than three syllables), it's a no-go. buy your candy this season. and drop a peppermint into your martini to feel festive.
real pumpkin pie. the holiday pie. "there's a happy feeling nothing in the world can buy, as we pass around the coffee and the pumpkin pie." (allow me to point out that when i googled part of this lyric as i am a bit rusty on my christmas carols, one of the first returns was the "pagan friendly christmas carol site." fantastic.) but yes, everyone loves pumpkin pie. and it's easy to make. if done correctly. and by that i mean, for the love of everything holy -- and pagan -- use canned pumpkin. i understand that you want to produce a pie filling that began as the actual pumpkin sitting in your kitchen. you'll feel terribly accomplished. but do you really want to fight with said pumpkin on the cutting board on which it will inevitably not fit and around which it inevitably will roll, only to find that when you do finally hack the thing open, it takes you fifteen minutes to discard the seeds and intensely stringy parts that have captured all the seeds (and surprisingly securely, considering it's just pumpkin). and if that's not enough, you have to roast it until it's soft enough to let it sit until it's cool enough to scoop out the flesh and actually work with it. exactly, now you start the recipe. not worth it. and on top of that, real pumpkin is exceedinly stringy, and it gets stuck in your teeth. buy canned pumpkin and have some mulled red wine, it'll be much smoother sailing.
homemade bread. i love making bread. the smell in the kitchen is worth it alone, forget the finished product. however, during the holidays, i highly recommend buying bread from a good bakery. or, if you wish, make the dough, knead the dough, roll the dough, cover the dough, raise the dough, punch the dough, recover the dough, raise the dough some more, punch the dough again, knead the dough for longer, roll the dough one more time for kicks, put the dough in the pan, bake the dough, cool what is now the bread, and... oh wait, the yeast was expired. the temperature in the first rising location was two degrees too warm. you punched the dough too soon. you covered the dough with saran wrap instead of warm dishcloth when letting it rise for the second time (the saran wrap should have come first, darnit!). you over-oiled, then over-floured to compensate. you let it sit too long the second time. you baked it a quarter-inch too far from the exact center of the middle oven rack. you get my point: you know what they say about things that can go wrong; that's right, they will. you should be able to find a nice rustic country bread at any local bakery. in the meantime, celebrate all that disappointment you saved with a nice tumbler of spiked eggnog. (SEE NEXT ITEM TO EXECUTE THIS CORRECTLY.)
eggnog. eggnog brings a whole other factor into the realm of consideration: food-born illness. come, you know after what is supposed to be the healthiest thing of all (spinach) actually started killing people, we're all a little more wary about food poisoning. and eggnog is made from raw eggs, one of the most well-known culprits (raw chicken, of course, being the other) for salmonella. so you're having a holiday party and you'd like to break out homemade nog. i say, not worth it. it's not a terribly difficult recipe, but it's also not a quickie. so, if you'd like to spend part of your party prep separating egg yolks from egg whites, beating the yolks very slowly while simultaneously adding sugar until the mixture is a pale yellow, slowly adding in the brandy and/or rum (for the grown-ups), beating in milk and only half the allotted amount of cream, whisking the whites and folding those into the yolks, flavoring it appropriately with spices, whipping the other half of the cream with more sugar, and topping each serving with whipped cream just so you can take responsibility for serving your guests an unpasteurized raw egg beverage, feel free. there are many excellent store-bought varieties, often to be found in close proximity to the wine sections of gourmet food stores. a nice riesling, perhaps, and cheers to intestinal health?
roasted peppers. roasting vegetables is often a great holiday technique: throw a bunch of root vegetables in a roasting pan, toss with some olive oil, salt, and pepper, and ignore it for the next forty-five or so minutes in the oven. however roasting a pepper for use in recipes regretfully procures a place on my not-worth-it-during-the-holidays list. scene: you're preparing roasted red pepper dip for a christmas eve potluck. you roast them. the juice inevitably goes everywhere (i don't care how much foil you use) and burns on your pan. you scrub the pan while you let the peppers sit in the brown paper bag so you can skin them. you realize it's getting late. the peppers are not quite cool, but you must remove the skin to work with them, so in you go, brave soul. you wind up unfashionably late for your potluck and empty-handed. that is, of course, because you had to soak your pepper flesh- scorched digits until you could once again tolerate contact with surfaces, clothes, champagne flutes and so on. not worth it. skip to the champagne.
sushi. again, one of those where if you want to do it all day, sure. but worrying whether your glutinous rice is glutinous enough to make it actually stick to the nori and hold the rolls together with friends on the way to your "ultra-mod asian-chic" holiday sushi and sake party, not as much fun. order in, focus on the sake.
flan. shows up around the holidays more than you might think. i enjoy the spanish custard. however, two words: water bath. (five more: pastry shop and a nice rioja. oh wait, that was six.)
happy cooking and happier consumption. and be sure to stop into starbucks for a shot of consumerist holiday with that espresso.
it was the season change chez starbucks that got me thinking how during the holiday whirlwind, the average american must eat, drink, and entertain more, all of which would certainly mean more time in the kitchen. and it was during a conversation about an acquaintance's determination to develop a homemade eggnog recipe that it occurred to me how long some things take to prepare. i am a big fan of cooking; i think it's great fun, and -- mostly -- most rewarding. but it being the holidays (sincere thanks to starbucks as i'd nearly forgotten until blinded by red stimulus intense enough to lend an alarmingly enduring pinkish hue to everything on which i looked), we are all inevitably short on extra minutes. indeed, juggling holiday events can be trying; cocktail parties, brunches, outdoor forays, family dinners, christmas tree purchasing, christmas tree decorating (if you are the tree-inclined type, of course). there's shopping. oh, and work (if you are the paycheck-inclined type). the point is, new yorkers are always busy -- or at least we think we are. and during the holidays, new yorkers are even busier.
that is why i felt it appropriate to share a few ways to save time in the kitchen. as i said, i adore cooking, and there is often no substitute for truly homemade edibles. except when there is. what follows are some examples that i have found fall under the "it's just not worth it" category. so have a perusal for your holiday time-budgeting purposes. if you had planned an attempt at anything you see below, i highly recommend you save yourself the time, take a trip to the store, and enjoy that first drink before you have to deal with company. or being someone else's. or children. or fellow shoppers. or your boss. whomever, really.
artichokes. i love artichokes. not the ones at the salad bar that come from a jar, but real artichokes. there's nothing better than braised artichokes with some lemon juice. they are often found in the form of an appetizer holiday gatherings. they are also the only vegetable ever to actually make me bleed. all on their own. i do not mean i was chopping or peeling or stemming and cut myself in the process; under that criteria i'd be obliged to add carrots, potatoes (regular and sweet), beets, kohlrabi, and i'm sure a few others to the list. no, the artichoke stands alone as the one vegetable on which i've actually cut myself. but personal grudge aside, the beginning of a basic artichoke recipe reads as follows: "working with one artichoke at a time, cut off top inch of artichoke and gently pull open center. scoop out sharp leaves and fuzzy choke from center with a melon-ball cutter or a spoon. trim bottom quarter-inch of stem, keeping stem attached, and peel stem. put artichoke in a large bowl of cold water. repeat with remaining artichokes." (please note the emphasis on "sharp leaves.") i am not an idiot in the kitchen. but this is a classic case of "it's just not worth it." go to your nearest gourmet store with a prepared food section. have a cocktail and avoid nasty sharp leaf cuts.
homemade candy of any kind. i know, all the holiday sweets with shiny red wrappers and silver ribbons have you tempted go to work on some of your own goodies? and what a nice gift, too. well, homemade candy it is so incredibly not worth it. thermometers, scalding butter, and melting sugar, it's truly more of a chemistry experiment than anything else. and my rule of thumb around the holidays is that if the list of "equipment" that accompanies a recipe is longer than a single item (or if that single item has more than three syllables), it's a no-go. buy your candy this season. and drop a peppermint into your martini to feel festive.
real pumpkin pie. the holiday pie. "there's a happy feeling nothing in the world can buy, as we pass around the coffee and the pumpkin pie." (allow me to point out that when i googled part of this lyric as i am a bit rusty on my christmas carols, one of the first returns was the "pagan friendly christmas carol site." fantastic.) but yes, everyone loves pumpkin pie. and it's easy to make. if done correctly. and by that i mean, for the love of everything holy -- and pagan -- use canned pumpkin. i understand that you want to produce a pie filling that began as the actual pumpkin sitting in your kitchen. you'll feel terribly accomplished. but do you really want to fight with said pumpkin on the cutting board on which it will inevitably not fit and around which it inevitably will roll, only to find that when you do finally hack the thing open, it takes you fifteen minutes to discard the seeds and intensely stringy parts that have captured all the seeds (and surprisingly securely, considering it's just pumpkin). and if that's not enough, you have to roast it until it's soft enough to let it sit until it's cool enough to scoop out the flesh and actually work with it. exactly, now you start the recipe. not worth it. and on top of that, real pumpkin is exceedinly stringy, and it gets stuck in your teeth. buy canned pumpkin and have some mulled red wine, it'll be much smoother sailing.
homemade bread. i love making bread. the smell in the kitchen is worth it alone, forget the finished product. however, during the holidays, i highly recommend buying bread from a good bakery. or, if you wish, make the dough, knead the dough, roll the dough, cover the dough, raise the dough, punch the dough, recover the dough, raise the dough some more, punch the dough again, knead the dough for longer, roll the dough one more time for kicks, put the dough in the pan, bake the dough, cool what is now the bread, and... oh wait, the yeast was expired. the temperature in the first rising location was two degrees too warm. you punched the dough too soon. you covered the dough with saran wrap instead of warm dishcloth when letting it rise for the second time (the saran wrap should have come first, darnit!). you over-oiled, then over-floured to compensate. you let it sit too long the second time. you baked it a quarter-inch too far from the exact center of the middle oven rack. you get my point: you know what they say about things that can go wrong; that's right, they will. you should be able to find a nice rustic country bread at any local bakery. in the meantime, celebrate all that disappointment you saved with a nice tumbler of spiked eggnog. (SEE NEXT ITEM TO EXECUTE THIS CORRECTLY.)
eggnog. eggnog brings a whole other factor into the realm of consideration: food-born illness. come, you know after what is supposed to be the healthiest thing of all (spinach) actually started killing people, we're all a little more wary about food poisoning. and eggnog is made from raw eggs, one of the most well-known culprits (raw chicken, of course, being the other) for salmonella. so you're having a holiday party and you'd like to break out homemade nog. i say, not worth it. it's not a terribly difficult recipe, but it's also not a quickie. so, if you'd like to spend part of your party prep separating egg yolks from egg whites, beating the yolks very slowly while simultaneously adding sugar until the mixture is a pale yellow, slowly adding in the brandy and/or rum (for the grown-ups), beating in milk and only half the allotted amount of cream, whisking the whites and folding those into the yolks, flavoring it appropriately with spices, whipping the other half of the cream with more sugar, and topping each serving with whipped cream just so you can take responsibility for serving your guests an unpasteurized raw egg beverage, feel free. there are many excellent store-bought varieties, often to be found in close proximity to the wine sections of gourmet food stores. a nice riesling, perhaps, and cheers to intestinal health?
roasted peppers. roasting vegetables is often a great holiday technique: throw a bunch of root vegetables in a roasting pan, toss with some olive oil, salt, and pepper, and ignore it for the next forty-five or so minutes in the oven. however roasting a pepper for use in recipes regretfully procures a place on my not-worth-it-during-the-holidays list. scene: you're preparing roasted red pepper dip for a christmas eve potluck. you roast them. the juice inevitably goes everywhere (i don't care how much foil you use) and burns on your pan. you scrub the pan while you let the peppers sit in the brown paper bag so you can skin them. you realize it's getting late. the peppers are not quite cool, but you must remove the skin to work with them, so in you go, brave soul. you wind up unfashionably late for your potluck and empty-handed. that is, of course, because you had to soak your pepper flesh- scorched digits until you could once again tolerate contact with surfaces, clothes, champagne flutes and so on. not worth it. skip to the champagne.
sushi. again, one of those where if you want to do it all day, sure. but worrying whether your glutinous rice is glutinous enough to make it actually stick to the nori and hold the rolls together with friends on the way to your "ultra-mod asian-chic" holiday sushi and sake party, not as much fun. order in, focus on the sake.
flan. shows up around the holidays more than you might think. i enjoy the spanish custard. however, two words: water bath. (five more: pastry shop and a nice rioja. oh wait, that was six.)
happy cooking and happier consumption. and be sure to stop into starbucks for a shot of consumerist holiday with that espresso.
posted by blythe at 10:57 AM
1 Comments:
i don't cook but good to see your blog back. hit us with some knowledge, omg!
12-05-2006 NEVAR FORGET
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